The five o five : Thursday, December 13, 2007

Again for The First Time

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"I really don't think I try to to be different I think different is something that just happens. I think that standing out from the pack is just an evolutionary trait that one in one billion of us develop in order to carry the human race forward. People hate me because I'm not like them. I hate them because they're not like me. We don't understand each other and thus begins the eternal struggle of the ages."

"Have you ever wondered wondered how the rest of the world sees you? Have you ever wondered what you look like to everyone else compared to what you think you look like to everyone else? Are you as nice as you think you are? Are you as hot as you try to be? Are you really even that smart?"

"Let me be the first to admit that sometimes I do too much. I look around at this great big old world and think to myself I'm not doing enough. I try to cram as many experiences as I possibly can into this one lifetime because I'm not guaranteed tomorrow and I have no idea if I'm coming back or not. I'm trying to get it all done in one shot but that comes with definite consequences."

"How many of us know that guy? You know, the one that no matter how much you say you have done or no matter where you say you have been he (or she) has done more or been further. How many of us have "that guy" as our best friend? How many of us have "that guy in our family? How many of us are "that guy"?"

For anyone paying attention you would know that all of the above were excerpts from "past" posts from the five o five [5:05 what is the five o five link] but what if all of this has happened before? What if you and I have already met in this same exact way a billion times before? This blog has already been written. This sequence of events already has been performed. How would you feel if I told you that I know how it all ends?

I thought of the concept of reincarnation once ore twice before and when I was younger I used to tell people that I was a wizard in a past life. They would laugh, point, giggle and whisper just as Jr. High classmates are supposed to react to such a statement but I was serious (or at least I thought I was. Ever since I was three the world seem oddly familiar just like a rerun of a T.V. show that you forgot that you've watched already. You know who the characters are and you know what they may or may not say or do next. Its not clairvoyance but it honestly feels like you're doing it again. This is back when I was nine. I used to just file it under the heading of Dejavü but now I think its a bit more complex then that.

What if all of this, this entire interconnected series of events we loosely refer to as "reality", has been done before. What if this life is some complicated entrance exam testing our human soul for admittance into the next level of existence? Could it possibly be that every time we fail we have to start over and do it again except the second (or 20th) time around we are allowed an instinctual twinge that lets us know that we've done this once before?

Its quite the disturbing thought to imagine that life only moves in one big circle. How would you deal with it? Let's say the next time everything repeats itself you somehow remember it all. You are 100% conscious of the events to come and you have the ability to act on or against all that is "destined" to be. Would you anything to change things or would you just continually relive your life the same way over and over?

Who knows how this all works. Reincarnation, Heaven [wiki Heaven], Hell[wiki Hell], Nirvana[wiki Nirvana], Purgatory [wiki Purgatory], The Afterlife, The Elysian Fields [wiki Elysian Fields], Miami, these are all the dreams the final resting places that mortals hope to discover once they cross over. We hope to find more then "end credits" at the conclusion of our life. It would be nice to know who produced, wrote, and directed my existence but most of us want to see what's next as though this ride was not exciting enough. We want to go on to "A better place" but wouldn't it be totally disappointing if this is all there was? We would like to think that there is a god up there that will weed out all of the bad elements so that when we reach our final destination [imdb Final Destination] we can lay back and relax on some sort of spiritual extended vacation. But what if we are spit right back out of the same passage of birth into the same life until we get it right?

This could be the 100th time I've written this blog. This could be the 100th time you've read it. This time I want to make sure its closer to where it should be. This time you actually might like it. This time I hope I made my point. Again...

The five o five : Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Out of the Box

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I really don't think I try to to be different I think different is something that just happens. I think that standing out from the pack is just an evolutionary trait that one in one billion of us develop in order to carry the human race forward. People hate me because I'm not like them. I hate them because they're not like me. We don't understand each other and thus begins the eternal struggle of the ages.

Forget everything you were taught as a child about evolution or creationism for just one second. Now replace all of that stuff in your head with Tiggaism. Lets imagine that in the beginning the earth was covered in Jello pudding (try not to think about Bill Cosby because he has nothing to do with this [you tube Jello]). Lets say somehow lightning strikes the jiggly Jello earth surface and through some complex scientifical God inspired Allah praising Buddha approved process, life emerges. This life, this small single celled Jello based life [ea games spore] is nothing more than a single celled blob wriggling around in a microscopic universe of sweet Jello goodness. This wriggling protoform is not alone. He soon finds he has friends all with the same slimy, pulsing blob like features and traits. He jiggles over to greet one of his Jello-kins and just as he is in range to reshape his full form into a hand to wave a full bodied "hello", SLURP. He is sucked into oblivion by what he thought was his friend.

So now we see that this Jello world is full of competing little blobs of slime all slurping each other other up so as to be the last blob swimming. Then comes along a blob that stands out a bit. This blob is a little less blob then the rest. This blob has features that the rest of the blobs can't quite comprehend. This blob has an extra little wriggling thing on his back side and an odd solid thing protruding from his front end. The wriggling thing on his back would be a tail and the solid thing on his front would be his mouth (but it looks just like a straw). The rest of the Jelloites are both intrigued yet fearful at the same time. Most of them want to befriend this new blob kind because they are not sure if he can harm them or not. A few of them just avoid him because they are not sure if he is abnormal in any way. Yet some of them try to challenge him because they just think he's showing off.

So the challengers step up. They approach him from the blind side ready to swoop and slurp but this blob elite out maneuvers every one. They try to take him out at every opportunity but he just can't be slurped that easily. They team up and come at him in mobs but his wriggling tail end makes him quicker then all the rest. They just can't stop him. Then, without warning, he slurps them all in with one single effortless draw. His long straw like mouth makes it easy and because it is Jello it also tastes great.

Let's fast forward a few Billion years beyond our "Jello" origin into the Jello Pre-historia. This single celled Jello being has now evolved into a multi celled Jello man. This Jello man looks like the rest of the Jello men around him except for the fact that he is a little bit smarter than the rest. All Jello men know that it is not wise to go out into the rain for Jello kind have a tendency to melt under the drops from the sky. Yet the rest of the Jello men always get caught off guard whenever the rain begins to fall. They never seem to see it coming. This advanced Jello man figured it out though. He noticed that whenever the sky turned pink that a rumbling would resonate from behind the fluffy cotton candy clouds that soon after rain would fall. The fizzy Mountain Dew [Mountain dew web site] drops would fall and sizzle on the ground. The advanced Jello man tried to tell the rest of his kin this but none would believe him and so they would go out and sure enough be fizzed to death by the carbonated sky hell. This continues to happen until all that is left is the one who tried to warn the rest. He is the one smart enough to stay out of the element. He even invents an umbrella so he wouldn't have to hide when it rains and he also wouldn't accidentally get caught in the downpour. A few billion years after that he evolves into me.

I am the advanced Jello man from the beginning of time. The one not afraid to stand out. People look at me just the same as my single celled brethren once did. Some want to be my friend while others either want to destroy me or fear me all together. No one wants to feel inferior but that's not the vibe I intentionally emit. That's not what "we" try to do for I am not the only one. There are many other's out there who stand out from the pack. We don't fit the (Jello) mold that the rest of humanity was crafted with. We have extra appendages and tools not bestowed on all others. We stand out but not due to any effort on our part but because (get ready for the "g" word) that's the way god made us. Maybe we are evolutionary accidents. Maybe we are evolutionary experiments? Either way we are not the same.

It used to bother me that I was different. I used to think everyone else knew the things I knew and could do the things I did. I used to show off in public and instead of receiving praise and accolades I would get jeers and ridicule. I didn't like being different. I didn't like knowing more than others. I tried to pretend my differences away. I tried to dumb myself down. I wasn't happy with my straw or my tail. I wanted them gone. I tried to sever them with ignorance and tried to hide them with antics. Noe of that worked. People can sense you are different. Sometimes you just just get tired of being "special".

I'm fine with them now. In adult hood I learned how to use my extras to my advantage. Women are attracted to men with bigger "straws" and my tail gives me the maneuverability I need to keep moving. You just have to learn to be comfortable with being different. You just have to learn to accept who you are. Just because you have more doesn't make you any better than anyone else. Just because you have less doesn't mean you are less. Be at peace with who you are and you will eventually find your place.

The rules for a Jello world apply to us all. Are you happy with who you are?

Anyone want some Jello?

The five o five : Monday, December 10, 2007

Besides Myself

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K A R M A
"
Reality creeps around the corner and rests besides you. He whispers in your ear the true feelings and emotions that such a dilemma would conjure in a similar situation. You shudder in disbelief. You see everything about "you" through someone else's eyes. You are not who you thought you were (good or bad).
"

Have you ever wondered wondered how the rest of the world sees you? Have you ever wondered what you look like to everyone else compared to what you think you look like to everyone else? Are you as nice as you think you are? Are you as hot as you try to be? Are you really even that smart?

Lets imagine right now I have a machine right in front of me that allows you to transfer your consciousness into another living human being. It can be anyone one else you want that is directly connected to your life right now (I had to clear that up for all of you "I want to be Pam Anderson" pervs - you know what I'm talking about). Let's pretend that this machine will allow you to be this other person for a full day but only as long as you interact with your former self throughout the day as you normally would if you were your normal self. Think about all of things that you do. Think about the way the original you treats the you you are now.

Imagine a full day gone by. You lay down to rest at night's end and you close your eyes and beam of white light shines through your window. Along with this white light floats in the "Karma" fairy to judge your experience. The Karma Fairy sits at the edge of your bed and begins to question you about your day? (If you like you can answer these questions on your own but think seriously about the answers). Her questions go like this;

1. Who did you become today?
2. What is their relationship to you?
3. Was the former you nice to the new you?
4. Did you argue with yourself?
5. What do you think of the old you's appearance?
6. What did you like about the old you?
7. What would you change about the old you?
8. Do you think the old you was nice or mean?
9. If you were stuck in the body of the new you for the rest of your life would you and the old you be able to be as close as you are?
10. Do you see the anything you think you should change about the old you so you and the new you can get along better?
    

The fairy scribbles all of her answers down into a regular composition book and you answer as carefully as you can, nervously twirling a pinch of the sheet between your fingers. She jots hurried notes in between each of your responses as you reflect back on your day. You mentally replay the events of the day walking through each scene of your memories as though its almost possible to change the past.

K A R M A
"
You look down at your pillow and then directly out into the blinding beam. You were searching for the easy answer. The one that lived somewhere within the room but it was nowhere to be found. You were hoping this was a trick question, one of rhetorical nature. One for which there were no right or wrong answer just like those survey you used to take in grade school. You clear your throat and prepare to say whatever would come out. You turn to the Karma Fairy and she looks at you with her glowing red eyes. You lick your lips.
"

It starts out as sunflowers and green pastures. You and the person you chose to be running open armed (in slow motion) [you tube slow motion run] through wind whipped flowers towards each other. The skies suddenly turn grey. The clouds begin spitting down upon your heads. Smiles and happiness transform into panicked scurrying for shelter. The two of you run into the nearest enclosure which is nothing more than an old cabin. The simple droplets have now become a torrential downpour. You are trapped in the rickety cabin with you former self. Reality creeps around the corner and rests besides you. He whispers in your ear the true feelings and emotions that such a dilemma would conjure in a similar situation. You shudder in disbelief. You see everything about "you" through someone else's eyes. You are not who you thought you were (good or bad). The rain beats down harder and the air in the room grows more thick. There is a tension present. It squeezes the truth out of you. It forces you to say how you truly feel. The old you looks distant and disinterested.

You talk slowly and with a smile at first. The old you turns away. Reality giggles and whispers even more truth into you eardrums. Your friendly smile redraws itself into a concerned grin. Calm is slowly changing into anger. On and on you talk and talk. Your honest concerns all ignored by your former self. Tears began to mime the raindrops and you stand to your feet ready and willing to be stuck by lightning to endure anther minute of this blatant disregard. You turn to walk away moving slow enough so that the old you will notice your action. You invest every once of you energy into each shuffled step. Your former self is not looking. You take three steps forward and turn back. The old you doesn't notice. You move three more paces ahead and peek over your shoulder. The old you is still sitting there. You take 5 steps this time and then look behind you only out of the corner of your eye. The old is just staring at the ceiling. You burst out into an all out tear driven stride and just as you shaking hand grips the door knob the old you stands up and shouts, "What's wrong?"

The question echoes almost infinitely in your mind.

"What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong?"

"HEY BUDDY WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!?" The Karma Fairy shouts.

You are shocked back into this surreal "reality" back in the room with the beam of light.

"You never answered the last question," the Karma fairy says half concerned and half irritated.

"Are you back now?"

"Yes" you reply.

"Good. Now I was asking on a scale of one to ten how would you rate the way you treated yourself today?"

You look down at your pillow and then directly out into the blinding beam. You were searching for the easy answer. The one that lived somewhere within the room but it was nowhere to be found. You were hoping this was a trick question, one of rhetorical nature. One for which there were no right or wrong answer just like those survey you used to take in grade school. You clear your throat and prepare to say whatever would come out. You turn to the Karma Fairy and she looks at you with her glowing red eyes. You lick your lips.

Before you can speak loud irritating screeches zip through the air like well aimed sound bullets. You clasp your hands over your ears to muffle the blow but it doesn't work. You look up at the Karma Fairy and her eyes now appear as digital numbers on his face. Both of her eyes look like the number five and his nose is also glowing red. Her nose is a zero.

"5".

"0".

"5".

His face reads 5:05!

The sound bullets are now zipping past your ears and nipping at your eye lids. The sheets begin to swirl around you and there is gentle nudging in your side. You unclasp your ears and the screeching is now more familiar. It is the alarm clock. You spring to your feet and sprint over to turn it off as not to disturb a single moment more of the once peaceful scene. The Karma Fairy is now gone but the question still lingered. You look over at he person you dreamed of trading places with. You understand a little better how she feels now. You pull on some comfortable attire, glide down the stairs and begin to type.

The Five o five : Monday, December 10, 2007

The question still lingers but today is a new day. Reality peeks at you through the window, smiling.

Today is a new day...