Again for The First Time

_{[3]<- What's This}

"I really don't think I try to to be different I think different is something that just happens. I think that standing out from the pack is just an evolutionary trait that one in one billion of us develop in order to carry the human race forward. People hate me because I'm not like them. I hate them because they're not like me. We don't understand each other and thus begins the eternal struggle of the ages."

"Have you ever wondered wondered how the rest of the world sees you? Have you ever wondered what you look like to everyone else compared to what you think you look like to everyone else? Are you as nice as you think you are? Are you as hot as you try to be? Are you really even that smart?"

"Let me be the first to admit that sometimes I do too much. I look around at this great big old world and think to myself I'm not doing enough. I try to cram as many experiences as I possibly can into this one lifetime because I'm not guaranteed tomorrow and I have no idea if I'm coming back or not. I'm trying to get it all done in one shot but that comes with definite consequences."

"How many of us know that guy? You know, the one that no matter how much you say you have done or no matter where you say you have been he (or she) has done more or been further. How many of us have "that guy" as our best friend? How many of us have "that guy in our family? How many of us are "that guy"?"

For anyone paying attention you would know that all of the above were excerpts from "past" posts from the five o five [5:05 what is the five o five link] but what if all of this has happened before? What if you and I have already met in this same exact way a billion times before? This blog has already been written. This sequence of events already has been performed. How would you feel if I told you that I know how it all ends?

I thought of the concept of reincarnation once ore twice before and when I was younger I used to tell people that I was a wizard in a past life. They would laugh, point, giggle and whisper just as Jr. High classmates are supposed to react to such a statement but I was serious (or at least I thought I was. Ever since I was three the world seem oddly familiar just like a rerun of a T.V. show that you forgot that you've watched already. You know who the characters are and you know what they may or may not say or do next. Its not clairvoyance but it honestly feels like you're doing it again. This is back when I was nine. I used to just file it under the heading of Dejavü but now I think its a bit more complex then that.

What if all of this, this entire interconnected series of events we loosely refer to as "reality", has been done before. What if this life is some complicated entrance exam testing our human soul for admittance into the next level of existence? Could it possibly be that every time we fail we have to start over and do it again except the second (or 20th) time around we are allowed an instinctual twinge that lets us know that we've done this once before?

Its quite the disturbing thought to imagine that life only moves in one big circle. How would you deal with it? Let's say the next time everything repeats itself you somehow remember it all. You are 100% conscious of the events to come and you have the ability to act on or against all that is "destined" to be. Would you anything to change things or would you just continually relive your life the same way over and over?

Who knows how this all works. Reincarnation, Heaven [wiki Heaven], Hell[wiki Hell], Nirvana[wiki Nirvana], Purgatory [wiki Purgatory], The Afterlife, The Elysian Fields [wiki Elysian Fields], Miami, these are all the dreams the final resting places that mortals hope to discover once they cross over. We hope to find more then "end credits" at the conclusion of our life. It would be nice to know who produced, wrote, and directed my existence but most of us want to see what's next as though this ride was not exciting enough. We want to go on to "A better place" but wouldn't it be totally disappointing if this is all there was? We would like to think that there is a god up there that will weed out all of the bad elements so that when we reach our final destination [imdb Final Destination] we can lay back and relax on some sort of spiritual extended vacation. But what if we are spit right back out of the same passage of birth into the same life until we get it right?

This could be the 100th time I've written this blog. This could be the 100th time you've read it. This time I want to make sure its closer to where it should be. This time you actually might like it. This time I hope I made my point. Again...