The Moment of Truth

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All of us have had that moment. That moment where we have to make a hard decision but we aren't granted a lot of time in which to do so. That moment where for the rest of the day or week or year we are always thinking to ourself, "did I do the right thing?" This moment is the one I call the moment of truth.

M O M E N T OF T R U T H
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Life throws its sharp edged boomerangs our way and we instinctively dodge its pointed trials. But I said life throws "boomerangs". Nothing that you do goes away that easily. Nothing you decide comes without consequence.
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Life is full of these moments but real life seems to thrive on them. These single second instances drive us towards the bigger picture. Sometimes we don't even see how it all connects. Its just one of those things that happen "to us" and we have no idea why. Something as simple as missing a bus because we were on the phone with our aunt. Something as major as the hurricane that could have taken us out of existence if we had not found a safe place to be [The five o five : Tuesday, November 20, 2007]. Things that remind us just how fragile this life is and just how serious every single choice we make can be.

Sometimes we respond mindlessly. Life throws its sharp edged boomerangs our way and we instinctively dodge its pointed trials. But I said life throws "boomerangs". Nothing that you do goes away that easily. Nothing you decide comes without consequence. Even if there were a million dollars behind "door number one" you still wonder what could have been behind doors two and three. You worry yourself with "possibility". Making those quick decisions always has a way of haunting us. Even if we let it go it doesn't let us go. It stalks us. It haunts us. It follows us all the way to the grave. Who we've slept with. The time we spent in prison. The last time we hugged our grandmother before she died. The last time we told our partner we love them before they moved on. The homework we didn't finish. The audition we couldn't make it to. The hot girl (or guy) we never said "hi" to. These seemingly insignificant seconds could have been possible the greatest events of our life. They are all doorways to "the next big thing".

M O M E N T OF T R U T H
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Think of where you are now. Think of how you got there. Try to map out every event that led you exactly to computer screen your are looking and and the chair you sitting on. Imagine all of the other possible places you could be right now and the choices that you could have made to get there. Try to remember the most simple of these decisions but one that held the most major of consequences.
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The moment of truth is always in our presence. Not just some, but all of our options have that same "momentous" potential. They are all intricately interconnected and unfortunately unrecognizable. You won't be able to clearly distinguish a major life event from your ride home (or maybe you would). Life sometimes leaves us clues. If you ever look back at those times where you had to stare a hard choice directly in the eyes then you know what I'm talking about. In retrospect you can see that you were "in the right place at the right time" or so they say. How many of your life changing moments were actually beyond your control. You miss your bus and then later run into a guy that offers you a ride to work but by the time you get there they say you are too late so the guy you rode with is sitting outside waiting and he then lets you know that he is the CEO of a major company and he offers you a job. Don't just shoot down my crazy idea because it hasn't happened to you (yet); It still holds the potential.

Think of where you are now. Think of how you got there. Try to map out every event that led you exactly to computer screen your are looking and and the chair you sitting on. Imagine all of the other possible places you could be right now and the choices that you could have made to get there. Try to remember the most simple of these decisions but one that held the most major of consequences. Like the push of a button or the stroke of a pen. Like the click of a mouse or the turn of a corner. Those are the times I speak of. Maybe reading this post right now is going to inspire someone to do something else. May everyone will leave Brittney Spears little sister alone [Jamie Spears MSNBC.com]. Maybe the entire world will change overnight. I'm definitely a dreamer but what better thing is there to do once you're awake at 5am, write a blog?

If this were your moment of truth. What would you do?

It Is What It Is

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L I F E L E S S O N S
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Life would lose all of its substance an become a pale gray shadow filed with simple tasks and mindless activity. The ups and downs are what make life worth living. It makes a relationship feel full. It makes the sunshine feel warm. Without the bad times or the low points we would never have anything to compare to the good times or he highs.
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Some things we just have to learn the hard way. Some lessons just can't be skipped over or tested out of. Life is full of these. Lessons like love. Lessons like heartbreak. Lessons like tolerance. Lessons like loss. Lessons like need. Lessons like experience. Lessons that in the end build our identity and ultimately define our character. These are lessons that we must make it through our own. But what if we don't? What if we remain oblivious to the fact that there are more people on this planet other than ourselves and we are not the only ones who have gone through what we are going through right now? Could this be the answer to world peace. Identifying our similar struggles? Understanding our similar shortcomings? Teaming up with one another to battle a common obstacle whether than exaggerating our minor differences? What is the world coming to?

Over the weekend I went to go see the movie I AM LEGEND and I admit that I was extremely excited about it based solely on the previews alone [read my review on Yahoo! Movies]. The idea of being the last man on earth is a scary one but I thought to myself that a lot of act that way now anyway. We act as though no one else around us matters what-so-ever and if they were to vanish into thin air that we wouldn't miss them at all. What the movie shows, however, is that if we did ever end up being the last person on earth that we would miss that "human" connection. We would miss arguing. We would miss hugging. We would miss being able to agree or disagree with one another. Life would lose all of its substance an become a pale gray shadow filed with simple tasks and mindless activity. The ups and downs are what make life worth living. It makes a relationship feel full. It makes the sunshine feel warm. Without the bad times or the low points we would never have anything to compare to the good times or he highs.

If I were the last man on earth I would nearly lose my mind. The character in the movie spent most of his time trying to recreate the world e once lived in. He set up mannequins around town to resemble people he once knew so he could engage in regular conversation with them. It showed me that even though he knew that none of them were real that the desire for human contact is what makes us do "everything" we do. We are purely social beings. Why else is the internet so popular? Why is television a billion dollar industry? We want to see other humans doing other human things. We want to borrow lessons from their experiences so that we can identify the solutions when we encounter the situations on our own. We want to learn, live and grow. Isn't that what life is about?

L I F E L E S S O N S
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I used to think that it was possible to be perfect. But what is perfection other than a collection of mistakes being rolled into a flawless final packaging? A diamond isn't exquisitely chiseled and fine cut when it comes from the ground. Gold doesn't have its divine glimmer straight from the earth. Janet Jackson wasn't that sexy when she was first born.
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I remember most of my life lessons that made me who I am today. The hurricane. My first kiss. My first girlfriend. My first job. My first day of school. Moving to Toledo. Moving to North Dakota. Living in Miami. My first break up. My first sexual encounter. My first love. My friends. My first fight. My brother. My mom. My step-dad leaving. My grandmother. High school. Jr. High. Being poor. Being middle class. Being rich. Going to an art school. Being on academic probation. Going to an all black school. Being teased and talked about. Being admired and praised. Winning awards. Losing the spelling bee. Winning the relay race. Joining the Drama club. Lying to my mom. Getting a whooping. Getting a detention. Passing the Proficiency test. Getting my first check. Quitting my job. Not going to graduation. Becoming a man.

If I didn't go through all of the things I went through then I would not know all of the things I know. I would not be able to take care of my business the way that I do. We all handle situations in our lives based on our personal experience. I appreciate both the good and the bad. I appreciate the ex girlfriends. I appreciate the the former associates. I appreciate the failed attempts. All of those things make it possible to do better the next time. It used to bother me. It used to make me upset. I used to think that it was possible to be perfect. But what is perfection other than a collection of mistakes being rolled into a flawless final packaging? A diamond isn't exquisitely chiseled and fine cut when it comes from the ground. Gold doesn't have its divine glimmer straight from the earth. Janet Jackson wasn't that sexy when she was first born. All things have to grow into "Themselves". They have to be given the chance to become what they are. That's the way it works. With everything.

So maybe I'll fail miserably. Everything that I'm trying to do just suddenly crumbles into a confusing heap of ill timed events. Maybe I'll just slump over into a depressive lump of a man and grab a warm blanket in search of an unoccupied street corner to call home. It may happen. It may not. I'm ready for whatever.

"We struggle to come into this world and they call that birth. We struggle to stay alive and they call that life. We struggle not to go out of existence, hanging on until the very last cell in our brain flickers out of commission, and we call that quest for immortality." This is life people.

It is what it is.