Besides Myself

_{[1]<- What's This}

K A R M A
"
Reality creeps around the corner and rests besides you. He whispers in your ear the true feelings and emotions that such a dilemma would conjure in a similar situation. You shudder in disbelief. You see everything about "you" through someone else's eyes. You are not who you thought you were (good or bad).
"

Have you ever wondered wondered how the rest of the world sees you? Have you ever wondered what you look like to everyone else compared to what you think you look like to everyone else? Are you as nice as you think you are? Are you as hot as you try to be? Are you really even that smart?

Lets imagine right now I have a machine right in front of me that allows you to transfer your consciousness into another living human being. It can be anyone one else you want that is directly connected to your life right now (I had to clear that up for all of you "I want to be Pam Anderson" pervs - you know what I'm talking about). Let's pretend that this machine will allow you to be this other person for a full day but only as long as you interact with your former self throughout the day as you normally would if you were your normal self. Think about all of things that you do. Think about the way the original you treats the you you are now.

Imagine a full day gone by. You lay down to rest at night's end and you close your eyes and beam of white light shines through your window. Along with this white light floats in the "Karma" fairy to judge your experience. The Karma Fairy sits at the edge of your bed and begins to question you about your day? (If you like you can answer these questions on your own but think seriously about the answers). Her questions go like this;

Who did you become today?
What is their relationship to you?
Was the former you nice to the new you?
Did you argue with yourself?
What do you think of the old you's appearance?
What did you like about the old you?
What would you change about the old you?
Do you think the old you was nice or mean?
If you were stuck in the body of the new you for the rest of your life would you and the old you be able to be as close as you are?
Do you see the anything you think you should change about the old you so you and the new you can get along better?

The fairy scribbles all of her answers down into a regular composition book and you answer as carefully as you can, nervously twirling a pinch of the sheet between your fingers. She jots hurried notes in between each of your responses as you reflect back on your day. You mentally replay the events of the day walking through each scene of your memories as though its almost possible to change the past.

K A R M A
"
You look down at your pillow and then directly out into the blinding beam. You were searching for the easy answer. The one that lived somewhere within the room but it was nowhere to be found. You were hoping this was a trick question, one of rhetorical nature. One for which there were no right or wrong answer just like those survey you used to take in grade school. You clear your throat and prepare to say whatever would come out. You turn to the Karma Fairy and she looks at you with her glowing red eyes. You lick your lips.
"

It starts out as sunflowers and green pastures. You and the person you chose to be running open armed (in slow motion) [you tube slow motion run] through wind whipped flowers towards each other. The skies suddenly turn grey. The clouds begin spitting down upon your heads. Smiles and happiness transform into panicked scurrying for shelter. The two of you run into the nearest enclosure which is nothing more than an old cabin. The simple droplets have now become a torrential downpour. You are trapped in the rickety cabin with you former self. Reality creeps around the corner and rests besides you. He whispers in your ear the true feelings and emotions that such a dilemma would conjure in a similar situation. You shudder in disbelief. You see everything about "you" through someone else's eyes. You are not who you thought you were (good or bad). The rain beats down harder and the air in the room grows more thick. There is a tension present. It squeezes the truth out of you. It forces you to say how you truly feel. The old you looks distant and disinterested.

You talk slowly and with a smile at first. The old you turns away. Reality giggles and whispers even more truth into you eardrums. Your friendly smile redraws itself into a concerned grin. Calm is slowly changing into anger. On and on you talk and talk. Your honest concerns all ignored by your former self. Tears began to mime the raindrops and you stand to your feet ready and willing to be stuck by lightning to endure anther minute of this blatant disregard. You turn to walk away moving slow enough so that the old you will notice your action. You invest every once of you energy into each shuffled step. Your former self is not looking. You take three steps forward and turn back. The old you doesn't notice. You move three more paces ahead and peek over your shoulder. The old you is still sitting there. You take 5 steps this time and then look behind you only out of the corner of your eye. The old is just staring at the ceiling. You burst out into an all out tear driven stride and just as you shaking hand grips the door knob the old you stands up and shouts, "What's wrong?"

The question echoes almost infinitely in your mind.

"What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong?"

"HEY BUDDY WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!?" The Karma Fairy shouts.

You are shocked back into this surreal "reality" back in the room with the beam of light.

"You never answered the last question," the Karma fairy says half concerned and half irritated.

"Are you back now?"

"Yes" you reply.

"Good. Now I was asking on a scale of one to ten how would you rate the way you treated yourself today?"

You look down at your pillow and then directly out into the blinding beam. You were searching for the easy answer. The one that lived somewhere within the room but it was nowhere to be found. You were hoping this was a trick question, one of rhetorical nature. One for which there were no right or wrong answer just like those survey you used to take in grade school. You clear your throat and prepare to say whatever would come out. You turn to the Karma Fairy and she looks at you with her glowing red eyes. You lick your lips.

Before you can speak loud irritating screeches zip through the air like well aimed sound bullets. You clasp your hands over your ears to muffle the blow but it doesn't work. You look up at the Karma Fairy and her eyes now appear as digital numbers on his face. Both of her eyes look like the number five and his nose is also glowing red. Her nose is a zero.

"5".

"0".

"5".

His face reads 5:05!

The sound bullets are now zipping past your ears and nipping at your eye lids. The sheets begin to swirl around you and there is gentle nudging in your side. You unclasp your ears and the screeching is now more familiar. It is the alarm clock. You spring to your feet and sprint over to turn it off as not to disturb a single moment more of the once peaceful scene. The Karma Fairy is now gone but the question still lingered. You look over at he person you dreamed of trading places with. You understand a little better how she feels now. You pull on some comfortable attire, glide down the stairs and begin to type.