Back to the future

Ever since I was was young I was obsessed with time. You have to imagine though (with me being an eighties baby and all) that I had a very good reason to be. It

B A L A N C E
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All you have to do is devise an itinerary of the things you need to do and the things you want to do in order to get them all done and if you don't get them done today then just carry the activity over to tomorrow. So you you go through your whole day crossing things successfully off the list. All the way up until the sun goes down. You wake up the next morning and make your new list including the things you didn't do the day before. You make it to the end of another day, once again without finishing the list off, so you you once again put them on the next day's list. You continue to do do this everyday until you realize (when you turn 26) that you are still carrying over list items from when you were 18!
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seems that the entire world was contemplating the dilemma of time and mortality. We had the songs on the radio, the movies at the theater, and the shows on television all talking about the intricacies of time and the universe. For an impressionable young person it was enough to mold me into the mildly crazed adult that you see here. So what is it about time that had us so befuddled? Back to the Future stands out the most. You remember; Michael J. Fox (Marty McFly) jumps into his Delorian (Time Machine) and travels back in time (totally by accident) and ends up almost dating his own mother thus altering the course of history thus almost erasing himself from time all together. Now Back to the Future was an interesting examination of the consequences of time travel but for some reason (ignoring the films own stark warning about the dangers of such an act) Marty goes on to do it on three other occasions making his time travel adventures a trilogy. Soon after there was a television cartoon series produced based on the show and every episode had Marty traveling through time not only mucking up his own family linage but altering important historic events as well. What the hell? So what does all of this have to do with balance?

Growing up (being influenced by the world of media imagination) I was one of those wide eyed youth that didn't believe in limits. At one point I seriously thought I could fly. I would make audible sound effects every time I punched my fist or jumped off a high curb. The world was not exciting enough so instead of being depressed about it I imagined it more eventful. As I got older I grew out of most of my childish activity. I still sometimes make sound effects when I jump but I still held firm to my obsession with time. Now since I discovered in adulthood that time travel is not yet possible I decided to make try to make the most out of the time that we are all given to work with. That means balancing your activities to fit within this stiff box of daylight and night time. There is so much too do and so little time. It almost upsets me that this is the way that human life goes. You have to cram all that you have to do with all that you want to do into this small window of hours between the time you wake and the time you go back to sleep. When you're a child you don't worry about this sort of thing but as an adult it becomes an all consuming activity. So you are taught that you have to balance.

At first it sounds so simple. All you have to do is devise an itinerary of the things you need to do and the things you want to do in order to get them all done and if you don't get them done today then just carry the activity over to tomorrow. So you you go through your whole day crossing things successfully off the list. All the way up until the sun goes down. You wake up the next morning and make your new list including the things you didn't do the day before. You make it to the end of another day, once again without finishing the list off, so you you once again put them on the next day's list. You continue to do do this everyday until you realize (when you turn 26) that you are still carrying over list items from when you were 18! What kind of sense does that make. How can your life ever be or feel accomplished when there is simply not enough time to accomplish anything. Add in school, work, family, friends and yourself and everyday of your life is filled with multiple demanding possible unfulfilled list items. If you look at it like that you are likely to just give up and become one of those "timeless" slackers that are looked down upon. The ones that carve away their waking moments playing Halo 3 and chatting on their cell phones. I didn't want to be one of those. I know to many of them personally and I wanted a higher quality of life (although sometimes their lifestyle appears quite appealing). I wanted to be somebody so I tried to wark hard at balancing my list.

I thought that maybe all I had to do was reorder my list in such a way that the things of most importance get done first and the other things (of I suppose least importance) go to the bottom. For a while this works but then life has its way of throwing its curve balls at you (i.e. bills, children, family, relationships etc...) So frustration sets in. I almost had given up. I'm 26 and I haven't finished college. I'm 26 and I'm not a professional anything yet. I'm 26 and I don't have my own house, my own car or a billion dollars in the bank. Those were on my list but at this rate I won't get to them until I'm 90.

What I wouldn't give for a Delorian right now.

B A L A N C E
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Suddenly the picture was complete. The puzzle was finally finished. The Rubix Cube of life was now solved.
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Then as I had lost all hope. As I had thought this is the way that it was gonna be from here on out I had ran into the sole reason I had so many list items in the first place (my role model, Jeff Johnson). When he was my age he had a posh condominium. He drove a Beamer. He had style. He had swagger. He was everything I knew I wanted by the same age. So when we met again I almost wanted to call him a liar or blame him for all my failures. I almost wanted to start throwing things and yell "liar this" and "ass hole" that, but I remained composed. We conversed about time and all other things "adult" until we finally came to the subject of balance. I told him how overwhelmed I was that my life had taken such an off centered and he responded dryly, "There is no such thing as balance." I wanted to punch him dead in the nose but his statement had literally stole my breath away. He had just burned my entire life agenda in one fiery huff.

"Balance is an act that must always be maintained," He continued.

Suddenly the picture was complete. The puzzle was finally finished. The Rubix Cube of life was now solved. He had not said much but he had said everything I needed to hear. It all made sense now. I thought back on Back to the Future and I understood the real point of the film. I understood that every time he went back and changed something in the past he had to change something else in order to restore the balance. Balance doesn't happen on its own you have to make it happen and not just once but whenever needed. His statement didn't make me forget about all that I was hoping for in life but it did make me think about how to better manage the present. The present is all we have. Balance is an act. It requires maintenance. If life leans left then tilt right. Its just like riding a bike. Of all the lessons I've learned in life this late chapter may be the most profound. This lesson is the reason I do this very blog at 505 in the morning. This lesson is the reason why I still push towards my the goals even though I may have already lost the race. Balance is an act. So as the curtains close and the spotlight goes dim I hope that there is applause when I take my final bow.

Balance is an act. Marty would be so jealous.

Balance